ReParenting Ourselves

Parenting is not just about learning how to be functional parents and pass on a healthy world view; it is about learning how to reparent ourselves and unload the programs that we in turn accepted from our parents so we can become a whole person. It is next to impossible be a good parents unless can find ourselves and enter recovery so we can let go of the past mistakes our parents made in our childhood.

I discovered that coming from a dysfunctional family as long as our past experience was imprinted in our data base we will repeat our parents behavior. Before we can have successful relationshipa become successful parents, we must unload our garbage that is setting us up to perpetuate our all our parents' dysfunctional behavior patterns. What I discovered was we cannot be parents who set a good example for our children until we learn how to reparent ourselves and grow up. It is like we must go through the process of growing up again. Children can not provide a good parental model or raise children. So parenting is not just a matter of doing the right behaviour; it's also a matter of being the right person too. To be this we have to understand what being a whole person is. If you can not walk the talk and if you do not know what to say in a positive manner how can you be a parent. If you have a basically corrupted operating system in your computer you can not create functional relationships nor can you become as an acceptable parent. Over the last 30 years I have met seven people who were effective parents. Quite devastating when you know want happens in dysfunctional families.

My presentation in this book may not please the people who choose live in their illusion thinking they are in effective relationships and can or are effective parents. Most people do not want to believe that all the causes of our problems and conflicts started in the first four years of our life, I did not want to blame my mother for all my conflicts, even though she did cause them, She did the best she could. We can not live in the past or blame others for our problems and conflicts. Even though we could not control the situations in the first ten years of our life we can not blame anyone for the outcome. We have to unwind it and take control and responsibility.

I view this process of transformation from all angles. I have no developed opinions on what is right beyond what I present in this book. I look at all sides of the question. I do not let religion or cultural traditions influence my theory or concepts. What I have presented here is based on my experience with clients and in my lectures and seminars over the last thirty years. I will look at anything a person brings to me to evaluate. There are some concepts in this book which may not be in line with the beliefs of some people. Every process or program is documented. A personal belief may cause you to discount my theory. But never the less Just because you do not agree me does not invalidate my theory or process.

Learn more at about ReParenting at my website.